$15,000 worth of packets
As you may have gathered I am a sensory junkie. I love to be totally absorbed in sensation, good and the upside of bad. I am forced to appreciate the contrasts between pain and pleasure, revelling in the relief of difference. I have stopped smoking cigarettes, mostly
. I might have 4-5 a day, as opposed to 30-40. It is hard work, and I have kept at it since the beginning of the year. I am experiencing heightened smells and surprisingly, touch. I suppose it is only to be expected, but I am enjoying the additional time it gives me, let alone the extra cash.
I really notice sitting by myself in public areas and not busily doing what I always have, since 1978; digging around in my bag for the packet, rolling and ashing and all the gadgetry I used to have
to carry with me for just a simple outing.
Its more difficult when I am with people that I used to smoke with, not that they are smoking, but that I am not used to having my hands free…I guess I am a nervous person and used smoking to occupy myself.
I still give in a few times a day, and light one, only to extinguish it almost immediately, its repulsive!
I notice other smokers fagging on out in the street, and I can identify with their habit, but am glad that I am not a victim of the addiction as much
anymore. I have a patch on always.
The scents that reach my nostrils are more intense than they used to be, and I am relishing my nose’s abilities to distinguish layers of fragrance. My sense of taste hasn’t changed, good food still tastes great!
The great thing is how the circulation is much better in my extremities, I used to get pins and needles fairly regularly in my hands in the night, and that ceased immediately. I am less out of breath, stopped the terrible hacking cough, and can feel no lung ache. That is really
I hope I can get to the point of no smoking at all.